I am tired of standing out. I realize there may be lots of people in this world that feel differently, because they have always been the wallflower, the person no one notices, and always left feeling on the outside of life, but I promise you, always standing out makes me feel just the same.
I have been singing since I was nine years old and come from an entire family of singers. When I say entire family, I mean it. There is not a person on my dad’s side of the family that is not musically inclined in some way (this is an exaggeration, but it is probably close). From the time I was a kid, people wanted to meet me. I remember being eleven or twelve and adult women asking me for my autograph for the one day I would be famous. Being able to sing, made me think that was all God had for me. I did not have any other plans for who I would be or what I would do growing up.
Please know that I am not asking for a pity party, but I want to point out that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Now as an adult, I have four boys age 1-8 years old and I would not switch them out or trade them for anything. But, we stand out. Everywhere we go, someone has to say something about me having four boys. It is tiring, it is annoying, and I do not want to answer any more awkward questions like, “Are you going to still try for that girl?” How exactly does one do that? Try for a girl, are you kidding me?
Being a Christian makes me stand out as well. I realize this is a good way to stand out, but sometimes I wish I could just blend in like everybody else. I wish I did not have to be different, think different, and want to fully trust God for who He is. Sometimes it is just tiring. Whenever I am somewhere in public and another lady and I will start chatting, the inevitable question is asked about what my husband does for a living, and as soon as I say, “he is a youth pastor,” a change comes over the person I am talking to. They seem to have this idea that they must constantly talk about godly things, being Christian, and going to church as soon as they know we go to church. This is good because I have been able to tell them about my faith, but on the flip side it is hard being treated differently because my husband is a pastor. Sometimes, I just want to be treated like a human being, just like everyone else.
Do any of you ever feel this way? Or do you feel the opposite?